We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
