were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
