That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
