I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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