i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
