$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
