Don't you send me to vm
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
