the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
