I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
