I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
