I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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