Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
