I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
