You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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