Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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