you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
