Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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