I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
