your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
