I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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