direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
