Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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