Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
