wakey wakey hands off snakey
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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