drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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