nut hugger
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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