Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.

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(217): View more from Illinois

It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering

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(512): View more from Texas

are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT

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(201): View more from New Jersey

AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!

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