hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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