I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
