girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
