If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
