I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
