dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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