His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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