You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
