I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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