I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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