I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
