duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
