We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
smell my finger.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
