May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
