I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
