I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
