i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
