you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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