I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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