If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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