I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
