So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
