Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
